Musings of a Muslimah | Dua for my Daughter

Officially a teenager.

Dearest daughter

As you blossom year by year,
may your heart be filled with hope and feel no fear. If there is a time your eyes shed tears, always always remember – Allah swt’s help is near.

May He swt bless you with the best of everything in this life,
and may you never need to experience any pain or any strife.

But if you do then always stay strong,
inshaAllah it wont be there for too long.

Our duas are with you always,
as you live life in your own fearless way. May you always remember your Creator in everything you do and say.

May He swt bless you with confidence and wisdom,
may you always choose whats right. May you always have love and freedom,
imaan in your heart and light in your life.

May you be blessed with all that is good in this life and the next, may you flourish and continue to blossom, may you and your heart always be content.

Aameen.

Love always Mummy & Abbu 💖

Musings of a Mother | My beloved “her”.

Today I sat in her room and took a moment to remember her as a baby…as a toddler…as a small child. SubhanAllah! How the time has flown by!

I was having a super busy day trying to get up to date with the chores and had popped into her room to do something.

It was a rare opportunity I found to be able to just sit on her bed, stop and ponder. Alhamdulillah.

I looked around at her shelves, the notices she had clumsily stuck on her wardrobe (must buy her a cork board!) and her bits and pieces lying around.

Where once she had shelves filled with fairytales and stories about animals were now replaced with authors such as Snicket, Morpurgo and Horowitz. Books of mysteries and adventure.

Her toys had been exchanged for jewellery and stationary and complex pieces made with lego (yes, shes an absolute fan!). And there was not a “my little pony” in sight!

Where once had been her dolls house now lay a prayer mat and cushions she used as a little reading nook.

I felt sad. SubhanAllah.

In a blink of an eye her entire childhood had passed me by and now she was steadily (often moodily) transitioning into her teen years. MashaAllah.

I felt a mixture of sadness, anxiety and excitement. I guess that is parenting in a nutshell, sometimes remembering how they used to be, worrying constantly about anything and everything to do with them at present and on rare occasions feeling excited at the person they are becoming.

Our lives are so busy we sometimes forget that everything is changing including our own families.

As Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī once said, “this moment is all there is“.

A reminder to myself and then to others, dont forget to take these moments in and make them moments you and your loved ones will remember. Nothing lasts forever, this is the way of this life. Everything moves forward, one day our children will grow up and have their own lives inshaAllah, just as we grew into ours. Alhamdulillah.

To my beloved her, I miss those moments that have gone and I worry all the time about you and the challenges you face but I am so excited about the person you are growing into! Alhamdulillah.

May Allah swt always protect, guide and bless our children with success. May they always be happy, healthy and blessed with true imaan. Aameen.

Dolls and Daughters.


So I finally gave in to my 9 year old daughter yesterday when I bought her one of these “hijabibarbie” type dolls. 

For about the last three years or so I had refused to buy her one and had hoped she would “grow” out of wanting one. In my mind I didn’t want her growing up with this particular image of how she should look (she has far too many “idealistic images” already bombarding her via media and advertising!).

Don’t get me wrong she has her fair share of ragdolls, homemade style crocheted cuddly dolls and various others. Just not the tall, blonde, slim, fair, red lipped, out of proportion, plastic “barbie” types.

The other day however, we were out having a “mother and daughter” day and she saw some.

As expected she instantly spinned around , looked at me with her innocent little face and pleaded me with those lovely eyes of hers, mashaAllah laquwata illa billah.

If you’re a parent/ aunt/ uncle/ grandparent/ older sibling or anyone who spends time with young children then I’m pretty sure you know EXACTLY what I am talking about! 

My instant reaction was the same it has been on many occasions before- an immediate “dont even think about it!”

The poor girl was so confused as we walked away but this time a few steps later she demanded an explainaition.

“But WHY? Why do you hate these dolls?”

I looked at her and thought its time, she deserves an explainaition.

“Well, I just dont want you to think this is how you should look as you get older.”

“What do you mean?”, she looked genuinely confused.

“Well, i just dont want you to grow up thinking that this is how you should look- you know…with light skin, blue eyes or a skinny and very tall body and legs, because thats just not how Allah swt has made you and you shouldnt feel you need to be a certain way. You might end up feeling ungrateful towards Him amd you might not be happy with yourself”, I explained with a sense of responsibility maintaining eye contact the whole way through, a real serious look on my face. 

Well the look on her face was… well imagine the look a person might give when they think you have completely “lost the plot”.

“Mummy….”

“Yes darling?.”

“Its just a doll… Im just going to play with it, its just a toy!”, her “lovely” eyes rolling.

“Ok well if you put that way…”.

And so she got her doll, surprisingly they had different “shades” of dolls and ofcourse it helped that the doll was appropriately covered. 

However, this whole experience made me question my parenting. 

Had I been too harsh in my decisions of the past? 

Should I have had this conversation sooner to check her understanding? 

Had my failure in this aspect of parenting deprived her of many hours of fun?

Had my overthinking and protectiveness deprived my dear daughter part of a “normal” childhood experience?

One thing was for sure, I had underestimated that my daughter is now at an age where her sense of logic and intelligence has developed way more then I realised and it has since made me realise that I need to “discuss” issues more openly with her if I am to know what she actually thinks rather then just “lay down the law” and assume she wont understand. 

Another parenting lesson learnt.