Musings of a Muslimah | Dua for my Daughter

Officially a teenager.

Dearest daughter

As you blossom year by year,

may your heart be filled with hope and emptied of any fear.

If there is a time your eyes shed tears,

always always remember – Allah swtโ€™s help is near.

May He swt bless you with the best of everything in this life,

and may you never experience any pain or any strife.

But if you do then my love, stay strong,

inshaAllah it wont be there for too long.

May you always remember your Creator in everything you do and say,

as you live the life you have been given in your own fearless way.

May He swt bless you with confidence and wisdom,

may you always choose whats right.

May you always have love and freedom,

imaan in your heart and light in your life.

May you flourish and continue to blossom,

You will always have our duas and blessings.

May you be blessed with all that is good in this life and the next,

may you and your heart always be content.


Love always Mummy & Abbu ๐Ÿ’–

Musings of a Mother | My beloved โ€œherโ€.

Today I sat in her room and took a moment to remember her as a baby…as a toddler…as a small child. SubhanAllah! How the time has flown by!

I was having a super busy day trying to get up to date with the chores and had popped into her room to do something.

It was a rare opportunity I found to be able to just sit on her bed, stop and ponder. Alhamdulillah.

I looked around at her shelves, the notices she had clumsily stuck on her wardrobe (must buy her a cork board!) and her bits and pieces lying around.

Where once she had shelves filled with fairytales and stories about animals were now replaced with authors such as Snicket, Morpurgo and Horowitz. Books of mysteries and adventure.

Her toys had been exchanged for jewellery and stationary and complex pieces made with lego (yes, shes an absolute fan!). And there was not a “my little pony” in sight!

Where once had been her dolls house now lay a prayer mat and cushions she used as a little reading nook.

I felt sad. SubhanAllah.

In a blink of an eye her entire childhood had passed me by and now she was steadily (often moodily) transitioning into her teen years. MashaAllah.

I felt a mixture of sadness, anxiety and excitement. I guess that is parenting in a nutshell, sometimes remembering how they used to be, worrying constantly about anything and everything to do with them at present and on rare occasions feeling excited at the person they are becoming.

Our lives are so busy we sometimes forget that everything is changing including our own families.

As Jalฤl ad-Dฤซn Muhammad Rลซmฤซ once said, “this moment is all there is“.

A reminder to myself and then to others, dont forget to take these moments in and make them moments you and your loved ones will remember. Nothing lasts forever, this is the way of this life. Everything moves forward, one day our children will grow up and have their own lives inshaAllah, just as we grew into ours. Alhamdulillah.

To my beloved her, I miss those moments that have gone and I worry all the time about you and the challenges you face but I am so excited about the person you are growing into! Alhamdulillah.

May Allah swt always protect, guide and bless our children with success. May they always be happy, healthy and blessed with true imaan. Aameen.

Slow down!ย 

I don’t understand why some parents are so impatient for their little ones to grow up? “Cant wait until he’s weaned… Can’t wait until she’s walking…Can’t wait until he starts school…Can’t wait until she graduates…”
Feels like yesterday we were dreaming and hoping for each one of ours…
Feels like yesterday I had each one close to my heart, two hearts beating in one body…
Feels like yesterday we brought each one home from the hospital…
Everything feels like yesterday…
They are growing too fast….way too fast…
Wish ours would stay as they are…

May Allah swt enable us all to enjoy and appreciate every single moment (easy and challenging) with our children and love and nurture them in the way Allah swt wants us to and is most pleased with. Aameen!

As they increase in age…so do my worries.

ุจูุณู’ู…ู ุงู„ู„ูŽู‘ู‡ู ุงู„ุฑูŽู‘ุญู’ู…ูŽู†ู ุงู„ุฑูŽู‘ุญููŠู…

Alhamdulillah she has just turned nine years old. My eldest.

The coolness of our eyes and the contentment of our hearts. May Allah swt always keep her like that. Aameen.

Once a shy little sweet girl, is now turning into a notsolittle girl. A girly girl who likes pretty things, arts and crafts and has the biggest sweet tooth ever! Mashallah laquwata illa billah.

However, as time goes by and her  character develops and changes, so is her physical appearance. And alhamdulillah as happy as I am to see her thrive and grow, there is a worry inside me that grows alongside…

I remember being that age, I lived in jeans and dungarees, a bit of a tomboy… the son my parents never had. It was only a couple of years later that I wasnt allowed to wear those “boys” clothes, and had to start wearing traditional asian clothing.

With my daughter however, I have started much earlier, not necessarily having to wear traditional asian attire but as long as her clothes are modest, loose fitting and cover her appropriately.

Some people asked me why from such a young age, some even criticised.

One word.

Well actually two.

Sex education.

(And no not the type we learn in school, although I’m going to have to have that discussion with her at some point…)

Sex education. Surely teaching our children to dress modestly at a young age is key to starting to teach them about modesty and haya. Teaching them that their body is theirs, a gift from Allah swt and should be looked after and well protected. (Thinking to myself… from prying eyes and evil thoughts).

Hijab. Another controversy.

“She’s only little, why do you make her wear it?”

I dont.

Honestly I dont and I never have. Encouraged with love? Definitely, but never forced.

Alhamdulillah, having it as part of school uniform and seeing me wear it, has embedded a natural habit and she sees it as a normal part of “getting ready” each day.

Surely instilling good habits from a young age will inshaAllah go a long way and make them easy to do at an older age?

All too often in my profession, I see the same mistake repeated. No encouragement, teaching or training given. She hits thirteen and boom! “Happy Birthday… heres a hijab”, not literally but almost. And that goes for many other things like limiting where she goes, who she sees, what she wears and how she behaves. Some people think their child is magically going to transform overnight. No one does. No one can. May Allah swt make it easy for those parents and increase understanding and love between them and their children. Aameen.

I remember at university classes meeting a forty something fashion student, cropped hair, cropped jeans, cropped everything. And then meeting the same student in the prayer room, fully covered praying salah. And she would turn up for every single salah.

When she saw me she laughed and said,”from a young age my parents taught us no matter what, never leave your salah…so I havent, I just cant…”. SubhanAllah. May Allah swt strengthen her imaan and grant her happiness wherever she is. Aameen.

Some time ago a close friend messaged me regarding my parenting skills and wrote, “you’re amazing mashaAllah. Such a wonderful example to the rest of us x”. Now as flattering as that message is my response was, “not really- feel like I should be doing loads more… just blagging my way through this parenting malarky x”.

Its so diffcult “getting it right”, they dont come with manuals and we dont get any training!

Alhamdulillah all is not lost, Allah swt tells us,

ู‚ูŽุงู„ูŽ ู„ูŽุง ุชูŽุฎูŽุงููŽุง ุฅูู†ูŽู‘ู†ููŠ ู…ูŽุนูŽูƒูู…ูŽุง ุฃูŽุณู’ู…ูŽุนู ูˆูŽุฃูŽุฑูŽู‰ูฐ

“He said: Fear not, surely I am with you both: I do hear and see.” The Quran 20:46.

We are not alone and we never will be, alhamdulillah Allah swt is always with us.

And what we can do is make lots of dua, seek help and guidance from Allah swt, try our best and leave the rest to Him swt.

May Allah swt enable us all to teach, guide, protect and do the best we can for our children, and may our children grow to be the best of human beings. Aameen.