Musings of a Muslimah | Dua for my Daughter

Officially a teenager.

Dearest daughter

As you blossom year by year,
may your heart be filled with hope and feel no fear. If there is a time your eyes shed tears, always always remember – Allah swt’s help is near.

May He swt bless you with the best of everything in this life,
and may you never need to experience any pain or any strife.

But if you do then always stay strong,
inshaAllah it wont be there for too long.

Our duas are with you always,
as you live life in your own fearless way. May you always remember your Creator in everything you do and say.

May He swt bless you with confidence and wisdom,
may you always choose whats right. May you always have love and freedom,
imaan in your heart and light in your life.

May you be blessed with all that is good in this life and the next, may you flourish and continue to blossom, may you and your heart always be content.

Aameen.

Love always Mummy & Abbu 💖

Musings of a Mother | My beloved “her”.

Today I sat in her room and took a moment to remember her as a baby…as a toddler…as a small child. SubhanAllah! How the time has flown by!

I was having a super busy day trying to get up to date with the chores and had popped into her room to do something.

It was a rare opportunity I found to be able to just sit on her bed, stop and ponder. Alhamdulillah.

I looked around at her shelves, the notices she had clumsily stuck on her wardrobe (must buy her a cork board!) and her bits and pieces lying around.

Where once she had shelves filled with fairytales and stories about animals were now replaced with authors such as Snicket, Morpurgo and Horowitz. Books of mysteries and adventure.

Her toys had been exchanged for jewellery and stationary and complex pieces made with lego (yes, shes an absolute fan!). And there was not a “my little pony” in sight!

Where once had been her dolls house now lay a prayer mat and cushions she used as a little reading nook.

I felt sad. SubhanAllah.

In a blink of an eye her entire childhood had passed me by and now she was steadily (often moodily) transitioning into her teen years. MashaAllah.

I felt a mixture of sadness, anxiety and excitement. I guess that is parenting in a nutshell, sometimes remembering how they used to be, worrying constantly about anything and everything to do with them at present and on rare occasions feeling excited at the person they are becoming.

Our lives are so busy we sometimes forget that everything is changing including our own families.

As Jalāl ad-Dīn Muhammad Rūmī once said, “this moment is all there is“.

A reminder to myself and then to others, dont forget to take these moments in and make them moments you and your loved ones will remember. Nothing lasts forever, this is the way of this life. Everything moves forward, one day our children will grow up and have their own lives inshaAllah, just as we grew into ours. Alhamdulillah.

To my beloved her, I miss those moments that have gone and I worry all the time about you and the challenges you face but I am so excited about the person you are growing into! Alhamdulillah.

May Allah swt always protect, guide and bless our children with success. May they always be happy, healthy and blessed with true imaan. Aameen.

Musings of a Mother | Children & Ramadhan

بِسْمِ اللهِ الرَّحْمٰنِ الرَّحِيْمِ

Alhamdulillah I was asked to do a talk at a conference recently about how to motivate children about Ramadhan. So I did some research and put together a power point in preparation and thought it would be great to share it in a article format on here for others to access and  benefit from inshaAllah. I hope it makes it a little easier for mothers like myself to have relevant and useful information and ideas all in one place rather then having to scroll through pages and pages of the google search engine, especially if they are doing this for the very first time inshaAllah.

FOCUS

Question: How can we encourage children to make the most of Ramadhan? (In a easy, not too time consuming and inexpensive way!)

1) BEHAVIOUR

2) LEARNING

3) FUN!

But first…

INTENTIONS

It is narrated on the authority of Umar bin al-Khattab (RA), who said:

“I heard the Messenger of Allah (SAW), say”:

“Actions are according to intentions, and everyone will get what was intended. Whoever migrates with an intention for Allah and His messenger, the migration will be for the sake of Allah and his Messenger. And whoever migrates for worldly gain or to marry a woman, then his migration will be for the sake of whatever he migrated for.“

Related by Bukhari & Muslim

INTENTION+MOTHERHOOD=IBADAH

A good action with the wrong intention will not get us any reward in the Hereafter.

But every little action we do such as changing nappies, feeding our children, even playing with them, if it is done with the intention of attaining Allah (swts) pleasure then we will be rewarded.

Therefore looking after our families is an act of ibadah.

1) BEHAVIOUR

…Think about your child/rens behaviour…

Q. What do you think needs to change/improve?

1) Behaviour – some examples…

  • co-operate with siblings
  • more charitable
  • be polite with siblings
  • be more helpful
  • share with others
  • follow instructions
  • practice the sunnah more
  • less screen time
  • compliment others more
  • be more organised

1)BEHAVIOUR – HOW? DAILY DEED POT (all ages)

Have a pot/box/envelope (whatever works for you) and have different “deeds” written on strips of paper inside. Pull out a strip each day and do the deed (this is also great for adults too). For ready to cut out deeds, visit:

http://intheplayroom.co.uk/2015/06/09/30-days-of-good-deeds-for-a-ramadan-jar/

1)BEHAVIOUR – HOW? ACCOUNTABILITY (all ages)

At the end of the day, get you child to “account” for each day, to self-reflect on how their day was.

1.What was good about it?

2.What could they have done better?

Note: this is something we should also be doing, so why not try to instil this from a young age?

1) BEHAVIOUR – HOW? ACCOUNTABILITY (all ages)

  • Diary
  • Post its pinned onto a board
  • Discussion
  • Evaluation worksheets
  • Routine/behaviour charts
  • Sticker charts and stickers

2) LEARNING

…Think about your child/rens learning…

Q. What do you want them to learn in Ramadan?

2)LEARNING – Some examples…

  • Fasting
  • Seerah
  • Recitation of Quran
  • Learning Arabic
  • Learning about zakah
  • Memorisation of duas/surahs
  • Learning about Laylatul Qadr
  • Modest dress/hijab
  • Correcting their tajweed
  • Learning about salah
  • Practising their salah
  • Learning about the revelation of the Quran

2)LEARNING

Choose 1 area and focus on that all the way through Ramadan or choose 3 areas and focus on each every 10 days:

Eg: for my 6 year old son:

First 10 days: Fasting

Next 10 days: Salah

Last 10 days: Laylatul Qadr

Or if you are feeling really ambitious, do focus on something different each day?!!

2)LEARNING – HOW? BOOKS/STORYTELLING

https://www.azharacademy.com/Scripts/default.asp

http://www.muslimchildrensbooks.co.uk/

https://www.simplyislam.com/products/kids-corner/Children-Books

http://www.kubepublishing.com/children/

2)LEARNING – HOW? WEBSITES

http://www.kiddyhouse.com/Ramadan/

http://www.primarygames.com/holidays/ramadan/games.htm

http://www.islamicplayground.com/scripts/prodview.asp?idproduct=60

These and other websites include stories, games, tasks, wordsearch, nasheeds, talks for children and much more!

2)LEARNING – HOW? SOME OTHER IDEAS…

1.SET A DAILY HALAQA TIME

2.AUTOMATIC REMINDERS ON GADGETS

3.SPENDING TIME TOGETHER

4.DUA/SURAH TICK LIST

5.AT THE MASJID

6.TALKS ONLINE (YOUTUBE)

7.COURSES THEY/YOU CAN ATTEND

3) FUN!!!

…Think about what your child/ren most enjoy…

Q. What fun ways can you use to inspire them in Ramadan?

3) FUN – Some examples…

SUPER EASY LITTLE EFFORT MORE EFFORT
COLOURING IN PLAY DOUGH RECYCLING
STORY WRITING PUZZLES HAND PRINTING
READING PUPPET PLAY MAKING PUPPETS
WRITING COLLAGE FOAM PRINTING
ONLINE GAMES ROLE PLAY FINGER PAINTING
MAKE BELIEVE RAMADAN/EID CARDS/DECORATIONS NO BAKE CLAY
WORKSHEETS BOARD GAMES CREATE A GAME

3) FUN – HOW?

ACTIVITY AND CRAFT IDEA BOOKS

http://www.azharacademy.com/scripts/prodList.asp?idCategory=137

http://amuslimchildisborn.blogspot.co.uk/2011/07/ramadan-activity-book-for-kids.html

WEBSITES WITH PLANNED ACTIVITIES AND IDEAS

http://modestmunchies.com/49-ways-to-get-kids-involved-in-ramadan/

https://jeddahmom.com/2015/06/printable-activities-and-crafts-for-ramadan/

WEBSITES WITH PRINTABLE WORKSHEETS

http://www.muslimkidsdigest.com/free-muslim-coloring-book-for-kids/

https://gb.education.com/worksheets/ramadan/

WEBSITES THAT SELL GAMES, TOYS AND PUZZLES ETC

http://www.azharacademy.com/scripts/prodList.asp?idCategory=137

https://www.anafiya.com/collections/kids-islamic-toys

https://www.ibraheemtoyhouse.com/product-category/ramadan-2018/

http://darussalam.com/children-section/games-and-toys.html

DISCUSS IDEAS WITH FRIENDS/RELATIVES

IMPORTANT REMINDER…

A man came to the Prophet and said, ‘O Messenger of God! Who among the people is the most worthy of my good companionship? The Prophet said: Your mother. The man said, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man further asked, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your mother. The man asked again, ‘Then who?’ The Prophet said: Then your father. (Bukhari, Muslim).

Alhamdulillah sisters, we have been granted this great status and it is a blessing and honour, so use your blessed position to seek help from the One who has honoured you.

DUA! DUA! DUA! Ask help from Allah swt for EVERY little thing including being successful in motivating and encouraging our children, not just for Ramadhan but for the rest of their lives.

May Allah swt enable us to be the best we can be as parents to our children and empower our children to become the best of their generation. Aameen!

Please note I have not checked above websites in depth, I strongly advise you to do so before buying/trying etc.

Musings of a mother

Whilst sorting through some files, I came across some old photographs of our young children as babies and my husband and I started going through them and reminiscing as you do…

After “oooing” and “aaahing”, he turns to me and says “you did good mashaAllah”.

I should’ve felt pleased or somewhat proud but instead I just felt anxious.

I had a flashback of a conversation with a friend who is a parent of teenagers telling me, “believe me, this is the easy part!”, responding to my complaints about lack of sleep and exhaustion. “The older they get, the harder it becomes…”

Parenting is a challenging journey that seems never-ending, a journey with many highs and lows. But if they grow into believers who are caring human beings, kind to others and humble, then inshaAllah it will be all worth it.

May Allah swt make parenting easy for us, guide us to be the best of parents and bless our youth to be the best of children. Aameen.